This picture is Hana's first day back to preschool in Oct. this year.
I am finally blogging after a 2 month break - not on purpose.
I wanted to blog today about my sweet daughter, Hana. I am amazed at how quickly she is growing up. I find my self wanting to stop it somehow. She now is tall enough to reach things on top of our microwave, which is on out counter. I know that does not sound so great, but it is just a conformation that she is growing fast. Just yesterday she could bearly reach the light switch - ya know?
Scott and I also decided that we know how to do this parent thing with 2 year olds, because we've done it before. However, Hana is turning 5 in less than two weeks and we don't know how to raise a 5 year old. AH! Sometimes we feel like we are in over our head. :)
I have also recently taken on another parttime job, working at the YWCA, with kids and teens. I leave for work right after Scott gets home in the afternoon. I am still really enjoying it, but it has been a big change for our family.
Hana has said to me a couple times that she wishes everything was back the way it was before. She first explained that a couple of her preschool teachers are different, and she wished that they were the same again. Then she wanted her bedroom back the way it used to be (when we had the bunk bed set up and Conrad's crib up ) - we now have the bunk bed separated and the kids sleep in each of the beds. Then the final heart breaker for me was when she said "And I just want our family back the way it was, too. Mom, it sure is hard having so many changes." Well, there goes a little piece of her childhood, toddling out the door. Oh Man! What do you do? Yes, I have to agree with Hana, it is very hard watching changes happen - especially with my kids.
Don't get me wrong, I am very excited for my kids to continue experiencing life. What a great adventure! But ya know - I also hope I can be there for them the way that is need for them to have the fullest life possible. I guess it is a daily "giving up." This is where I put my hands in the air and say "I give it all to you, Father. Show me the way and Thy will be done! I give it up! It is Yours - knowing I will be shown my role in this beautiful life!"
I have also realized how individual my sweet children are. I mean in the sense that they are separate from me and each other. They are not mine. They only belong to themselves and the God or Goddess that they are. They are their own people living their own life experience. It is hard to explain from my true perspective, and everyone will have their own interpretations of what I am explaining. All I can say is that I am so glad I am their "mom" right now. I "know" these people or Spirits who have joined in on this particular life adventure. We are friends and they have gifts they have brought with them. It sure is a beautiful thing remembering that.