A few people have called me, asking if the rumor is true - and yes it is. My mom is getting married - to a nice man named Jeff Shmuts (I think that is how his last name is spelled - pronounced "Smoots"). Last I heard they were thinking of May 10th - this year of course - so tentatively mark your calendars. I am not sure if it will be a small or large wedding - but it sounds like it will be in someone's backyard.
(Beware - if you don't want to know how I really feel about all this - please don't keep reading :))
Initial reactions:
- surprised (but not)
- excited and very happy (for my mom - we all knew she would not or could not be "alone" for too long - she is still young - and now we know she's still got it goin' on.)
- nervous or questioning (for how it would affect my younger siblings)
- anticipation (to get to know him and his family)
- curiousity (Hmmm . . . what will this be like?)
-Wow - 3 Jeff's in the family (Mom's brother, my brother, and now her husband) - (we teased that Becky and Cami are only aloud to marry a Brad or a Michael now- since I married a Scott. :))
A few Initial questions (I have asked - and addressed with mom):- Have you (mom) even told Dad's family you are dating? (they are all informed now :))
-How soon are they planning on getting married?
- How does his (Jeff) family feel about it? (that is a continual question)
- Who is this guy? (I have only met him once)
- How will this affect us all? (his family, our family, etc)
- Where is Jeff and his family at with the fact that we don't practice their religion? (This is always a big question for most people - and the fact of the matter is, that it matters to people (like myself). Spirituality is important to many people in religious settings and non-religious settings.)
Current thoughts, questions, and feelings: ( have shared all these with my mom)
Wow! I am not sure how much I should share of these things - I may keep it simple for now.
- How much of my mom will we be losing to this new family? (some may be shocked that I and others in my family have this question - but it is a real feeling and thought - perhaps the same question comes up for his kids about Jeff.)
- Why do they have to rush things so quickly? (there are a lot of people involved here)
- When I comment to friends or family that I feel Mom and Jeff are moving a little too fast, a couple people have said "Well, you and Scott were only engaged a couple months" or they give other examples of other people and when they first got married (at age 20 or so) I feel like that is a very unrelated, and perhaps dumb response to my concern. And I have two responses for it:
-- 1- It was our or those people's 1st marriage in their early 20's (we only had us to worry about.)
-- 2 - They have 13 children, spouses, and grandchildren to blend into the family along with their marriage, with life long history's of relationships and traditions (small and big) with each other and with our parents, alive and deceased. (it won't hurt anyone to wait for a few to several more months to help everyone perhaps get to know each other, make it a little more smooth - I am excited to blend traditions and relationships, but lets make it a happy experience, all around.)
- I also find it funny when I share any frustrations with people who have never experienced a divorce, or remarriage, or blending families, etc. - they totally shut down, or try to change the subject to a conversation with a more happy topic. Why does it always have to be
bunnies and flowers with everyone? (okay - not everyone, I guess just some people)
- I am so glad I have my brother Brad to talk to!!! (we keep it real ;) - thanks bro.)
(I better end on a lighter note - for the bunnies and flowers kind of people - sure love ya!)
- I still am
very excited for my mom and I am looking forward to meeting Jeff's kids. I think we are a fun family and it sounds like they are too. So, I know it will work out in it own time - and who knows maybe we eventually won't be able to live without each other.
TYF!
The snow is melting and the sun is warming the earth - only light jackets needed lately. However, we sure had fun in the snow while it was here. The pile next to our driveway became larger and larger as the season went on, shoveling and shoveling and shoveling. So Hana and I went outside and she assisted me in making a fun snow fort (she patted the snow down inside the fort - she was an awesome helper).
We brought the kids little chairs out to sit in it and play for a little while. Conrad was sleeping when we made it, so he was very surprised when he came outside. The roof is made from some extra window screens we had lying around. (Note Conrad's pink hand-me-down snow pants from Hana - who actually got them as a hand-me-down from Sara - good times :))
